Everyone knows I love my dog. She is the only dog that I have ever had that was truly mine. I’ve lived with people who have had dogs quite a bit over the years, but never owned one until Ipo. Growing up we weren’t allowed to have pets due to a really nasty accident when my mom and aunt were growing up that left my mom terrified of dogs-and understandably so. Living with my dad and stepwitch we were allowed a dog for a few weeks until she was determined to shed too much hair for stepwitch’s liking. (The dog shed too much, not stepwitch)
So seven years ago I got my very own cutie patutie, and she’s been my side-kick ever since. She sleeps with me, goes everywhere possible in the car with me, used to go to work with me quite often, and has taken a few plane rides with me on visits. She has seen me through some really dark times over the years, as some of you who have read me for sometime are aware of. She was even allowed to stay overnight with me a few nights while I was in the hospital a few years back. She captures the heart of everyone she meets! She captured my heart seven years ago the moment I saw her at a mere 11 weeks old.
Given that, it is not uncommon for Kel and I to be found at the pet supply stores getting treats, toys and whatever we can find for Ipo and Cleo. Do I spoil Ipo? Do I spoil Cleo? Well……sort of. If by spoiling you mean loading up the toy hamper with about 30 different stuffies, then yes I do. If it means lavishing them with all kinds of attention, love and kisses, then yes I do. If it means making sure they have the best of food and treats at all times, then yes I do. If it means giving them people food and crap like that, then no I don’t. Kel and I are guilty of loving our furry buddies to the hilt. That I can admit.
Back to the pet supply store. Last week we were looking for more treats and nummy nummies for the girls, and I saw something I hadn’t yet seen before. This is always exciting to me, and I find that I am a lot like a kid in a candy store when at the pet store. Well, imagine my confusion when I saw this:
Interesting looking dog treat eh?
Now keep in mind, the one I picked up was about 18″ long! I actually looked like beef jerky at first, but I knew better than to think they would sell human treats in a pet store. I asked the sweet, older gentleman who was working the cash register, and was met with a man whose face turned beet red and his explanation was given in a stuttered fashion. “Bull penis ma’am.” What? “Ahem. That is a bull penis.”
I looked at Kel. She looked at me. We looked at him with our “WTF!!” looks on our faces. Well, what do you DO with a bull penis? “You feed them to your dog, ma’am.” You do what? “You feed the bull penis to your dog. I’m told dogs love them.”
Ok. First off, I never returned something back to the shelf so fast as I did with that bull penis! Ack! Then the guy told me that I could get a braided bull penis if I wanted.
Oh the braided bull penis is so much more appetizing!
Interestingly enough there are also Steer penis’ available, but more interesting is how different they look! I wonder if they look that different before they are removed from the animal??
Not as purty as a bulls manlihood, eh?
(Weird…I always thought a bull and steer were the same thing. Slap me goofy)
Apparently a bull’s penis is usually 23-25 inches in length, and it’s removed, cleaned and hung vertically so that the fluids drain out of the now termed ‘pizzle.’ (Gagging aren’t you?) I guess draining of the fluids make it odorless. Hmmm, guess I never really thought about how a bull’s penis would smell. Then the ‘pizzles’ are twisted, stretched, twisted, dried and smoked. (I’m a smoker- but you won’t catch me smoking no bull penis!) Then you get to choose your bull penis size of anywhere from 4 to 30 inches! UGH!
All I’m saying is this. I spoil my dogs rotten. But you will never catch me holding a bull penis in front of Ipo and saying ‘come here girl! Get your penis now! Chew that penis you little princess!” Even if she begs with those big brownies and says ‘oh mommy i really want to suck on a bull penis’ i will say: Absolutely NOT! You are NOT that kind of a girl!
Nope.
Ain’t no way. I still get grossed out thinking about it. WHO comes up with this crap?
But I am curious. Anyone out there serving bull penis’ to their dogs? If so, will you admit it??
