In the bum and out of the bum?

June 14, 2008

30,000+ motorcycles arrived today in Port Dover for the Friday the 13th ride. Incredible. Bikers from as far as California arrived for this attempt at breaking the Guinness World Record of 10,000+/-. I’d say they surpassed that record by just a few eh? Not sure how it started, but each and every Friday the 13th is known and “motorcycle to Port Dover.” You see motorcycles everywhere. Wish I had one to get on and cruise with the wind slapping against my cheeks. I soooo miss my bike.

Been awhile since I updated. I have to say that I learned an incredible little trick this week however. Earlier in the week Kels and I took the poochies out for their before bedtime duties, and I got eaten alive! Holy crap. I’m thinking the mosquitoes here haven’t tasted American blood because Kels got one bite, and my legs were covered with I think 34 bites. My arms had a few knarly ones, as did my chest, and I got one massive one on my ear that made me look like a lopsided Dumbo for three days. Not fair!

Needless to say I was in agony with the itching when we got back up to the apartment. Kels being the wonderful sweetheart that she is was pulling everything out of her hat of tricks to alleviate my discomfort. We tried vinegar- all that did was stink me up and repel the dogs from me. Then she made a baking soda paste. All that did was dry up and flake off everywhere I walked in the apartment. I again jumped in the tub and washed all that crap off of me and scrubbed as HARD as I could over every area that itched like a ‘Mo-Fo’.

She was ready to head out to the 24-hour drug store for the good stuff when she got a wise idea in her noggin. You know that lovely crap that you shoot up yer bum hole when it gets attacked by a hemorhoid?? Yes folks, I’m speaking of the lovely stand-by that every household should have- Preparation H.

“Honey? What about this stuff? It relieves swelling and itching!”

Well, if you can use it IN your bum, you should be able to use it on the outside of your body eh? So what the heck! We forged ahead and Kels got back on her knees to apply roid cream to the bites on the back side of my legs. (Isn’t she just a sweetie?)

And I must say. Within about 5 minutes….total relief!! No itching! I have a tendency to scratch myself raw in my sleep, so it was important to get me de-flamed if you will. (Ok, now some you may take that scratch-myself-raw comment to a direction it was not intended to go….get back out of the gutter now!)

To all my friends out there in cyberland I have one important thing to remind you. Make SURE you have that great smelling Roid Cream on hand at all times! Regardless if you get hemmies or not, if you are in the land of those nasty skeeters, this stuff is MUST have! I will suggest also that you invest in the CREAM rather than the gel formulation. The cream doesn’t not have near the level of stench of liver cod oil that the gel has.

So that is it for my words of wisdom today. Check your medicine cabinets people and stock up on the roid cream!



  1. I’ll add to the home remedy thing by telling you that I used to work with a girl that would put that stuff on zits. Claimed it made them go away overnight. Crazy!!!!!!!

  2. what will they think of next? good stuff, shippie!

  3. Wow!! That’s amazing. I’ve never had Preparation H on hand before, but now I have a reason!

    I feel your pain. I get eaten up by the mosquitos as well. I was in DC visiting family, and I swear I was only outside for 20 minutes talking to my friend — and I got eaten alive. Granted, I was out at dusk, but I was covered in the darn things!! Now I know how to treat them, though. Thanks!!

  4. Dang, woman – willya quit with the hopskotch already? I can’t keep up with yer address, LOL.

  5. Such sage advice for so early in the morning!

  6. that is GREAT advice. seriously. i also tend to scratch myself until i have a raw spot on my body that ends up bleeding and scabbing. i can’t believe such a simple product can work so well especially because most cortisone creams do nothing to relieve my pain & itching.

    by the way, sorry you got bitten so many times. i believe it’s because you’re just so sweet to eat. heh heh… 😉

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