A Moles Identity revealed

It is with a heavy heart that I write this entry, and I have mulled over in my mind countless different ways of writing this post since last evening when I realized that I have done something very wrong.  Despite tossing this in my mind for the past 24 hours I still don’t know best how to write this, but here goes.

There is so much crap gong on with this whole business of what really happened, who said what, who typed what, who is a mole, who has broken trusts, who lied and on and on and on and on.  The whole thing has been very disturbing.

The one thing that I held solace in however was the simple fact that thank goodness I wasn’t involved in any way.  Yet it was still difficult reading about how this has affected so many of you that I hold dear to my heart and have followed for months or even years.

That solace was removed last night for me however as I read an entry from another blogger who was hurt by the fact that there seemed to be a mole in the midst.  An awful feeling to have really, and I can certainly understand how one would be upset over that.

It was in reading that entry that I realized I have indeed played a part in this mess, and the only way I feel best to right in even a small way is to own up to it; if only to remove suspicion off of others that they may have been the mole, for lack of better words.

We all know Art made a private blog that he chose who could access it and who couldn’t.  Those of us who read it know what he said on it, so I do not need to repeat it here.  What he wrote in that entry, as well as some of the comments were left, was made visible to Rosie.  And now there is a whole lot of speculation as to how she got that information, and people are speculating as to who leaked this information to her.  Some have posted their speculations publicly, some in emails, and some probably just in their own minds without making their thoughts public.

If you want to call someone who did this a mole, a snitch, an insensitive wench, an asshole, an untrustworthy sot, or even an outright bitch, that is your right.  I’m only here to try and set at least a small part of the record straight.  I am that mole, snitch, insensitive wench, asshole, untrusting sot and outright bitch.

Yes.  Me.  I copied the rant that art did on his new blog and pasted it to a word document, and passed it on to Rosie.

It was wrong.  I did not think my actions through prior to doing what I did.  The only thing I will say is that NEVER EVER did I intend to hurt anyone, or cause any problems, and that my intentions were rooted in care and concern.

I am not going to write a list of reasons as to why I did what I did to defend myself, as really it doesn’t matter.  What I did was wrong, especially with including comments that some of you made thinking you were in a locked diary.

I am so terribly sorry for my actions, and for any hurt or discord that they have caused.  I really should have thought things out before doing so.   At the time my reasoning seemed pure and for good.  And PLEASE, don’t anyone leave a comment about the “path to hell was paved with good intentions” or I will seriously scream.  I did not, nor have I ever, given out passwords to locked diaries or done what I did on this occasion.  For what it’s worth I throw that out there.

I’m guessing from what I’ve read on some of your blogs last night that some of you may have been confronted by Rosie because of a comment you left on Arts blog, and I am so incredibly sorry.  I in no way meant to stir the pot.

To those of you that did get backlash because of this- I offer my deepest of apologies.  While I did have my reasons for doing that, and believed myself to be doing a good thing, I was wrong.  I should never have done this.  Art, I apologize to you for copying that entry you made and forwarding it to Rosie.  Again, it was wrong.  Those of you who commented, I apologize to you for including those comments on that cut and paste fiasco and sending it to Rosie.

Think of me what you will.  Call me what you want.  I’d rather have that than have others who are innocent of any wrongdoing be unjustly accused or even thought of inaccurately.  I had a hand in this shit and I’m just here to admit and offer my deepest regret.  If you choose to no longer read me, or trust me, I completely understand.  At least you will be not trusting the right person though, and that is I guess all that matters.

One big lesson I learned long ago is that we all screw up and make mistakes.  The important thing is to own up to them and suck up the consequences.  I guess that’s all I’m trying to do.   If that means people are pissed at me, disappointed, stop reading me, write nasty things about me, than so be it.  The truth is out there and at least it will be directed at the right person.

And, if because of this you no longer wish me to read your diaries, than please let me know and I will respect that wish by removing you from my google reader.  I certainly don’t want to continue to make anyone uncomfortable.

I don’t know what else to say, except I am truly very sorry.