Going Batty-Save me

August 25, 2008

I’ve had it.  I’m at my wits end.

With what?

A couple of things.  One thing I can definitely rectify and will be doing just that tomorrow night.  The other is, well, something perhpas some of you can help me.

I am absolutely batty.  Fed up and batty with bats.  Yes.  Bats.  I want them gone!!!

We’re 12 floors up, and seem to have attracted for sure one if not two pesky little bats that have decided our balcony is the place they want to hang out during their downtime.  Well I did not invite them an I refuse to be an accommodating hostess!!  This little rascals perch themselves up in the corner of our balcony and leave their poop all over the place!  And before you ask, yes indeed it is most certainly BAT poop!  Ugh.

This wouldn’t be so bad really as it can easily be cleaned up and isn’t disgustingly large amounts by any means.  However.  When one goes out to sit on the balcony for a cigarette or to just enjoy the evening, a heart attack immediately replaces any sense of calm and serenity when you suddenly hear the flapping wings of bat taking off or coming in to land right near your head.  Kel or I are going to end up going through the screen door again I am sure of it.  Too, we don’t have a light out on our balcony, so the myth that they are squeamish about light can’t even be put to the test.

So.  If any of you have any suggestions on reputable bat repellents or deterrents, I’d love to hear from you.  So far I am not getting anything that even remotely resembles help on the internet searches.  Basically all I am reading is one just has to live with it.  Yes bats are good to have around.  I don’t debate the benefit they provide in eating all the pesky mosquitoes and flies and gnats and whatever else falls trap to their snare.  I don’t want to KILL them….I just want them to say “Whoa Jr!!  That balcony is not a good place to hang out.  Let’s go somewhere else!”  That’s all I want.  Besides, when you are this high up you really aren’t dealing with a big mosquito problem!

Problem #2:  Hair.

Yep.  Those of you who have read me for a couple of years have gone thru my battle of wanting to grow out my hair.  I’ve bitched and whined and blah blah blah.  Well I’m going to ‘kvetch’ one last time.  I’m SO sick of long hair.  I have realized finally that I will NEVER get used to the feeling of hair blowing across my cheeks and in my mouth.  Not only will I not get used to it, I won’t enjoy it either.  I can’t stand the feel of hair on the sides of my face!  And eating hair?  So not something I look forward to.

There’s also the heat.  I’m a natural heater by nature.  I get hot so damn easy, and having a blanket of hair hanging down your neck is not exactly conducive to keeping my body temperature from spiking.  I’m also not a fuss budget when it comes to getting reading in the morning.  I don’t like to spend an hour getting my hair right.  I don’t like spending ten minutes on it to be totally honest.  All I really ever do now id stick in a pony or throw it up in a clip, or in complete frustration put on a ball cap.  While I have a TON of hair, it is horrifically fine so throwing it in a clip or pony does not guarantee that the hair won’t fall out and start falling on and across my face after a couple of hours.

So.  Start the funeral arrangements.  Death to the hair is happening tomorrow night.  I’ve threatened long enough and time is up.  It’s coming OFF!!!!

Kel is a bit freaked I think.  She likes my hair long and is afraid I’m going to do something drastic like get a crew cut or something.  No no.  I assure you I won’t be doing that.

I did have my hair styled with a soft flat type and long bushy bangs years ago and loved it, I hated being mistaken for a guy.  I was mistaken for a boy all the time when I was growing up as a kid and I so hated that.  Too, you wouldn’t believe how many idiots there are out there that immediately assume if you have your hair cut too short that you must be a ‘dyke’.  Ugh.  I so hate that too.  Again while I am in no way ashamed even in the tiniest bit of who I am, I too don’t like to fit into some stupid stereotype.   I actually love it when I’ve known someone for a bit of time and then they find out that I’m gay and they say “No way!!”  Heh, heh.  I love that.  A simple shot into their warped stereotypes.  One point for me!

Anyway.  So tomorrow night is chop-chop day.  Immediately following that I’m off to the first night of my dart league.  I guess in a sense I’ll be getting primped to throw darts, eh?  Should prove to be interesting, as unless you’re in a pro league or real competitive league in the states, you don’t throw metal tipped darts.  Nylon darts and electronic dart boards is all I’ve thrown for years, and it’s an entirely different game.  Here they laugh at me when I mention that.  That’s wussy darts!  heh, heh.  It will be interesting getting used to the weight difference of the metal tipped darts.

Now, metal tipped darts are illegal in a lot of states because of injuries.  Let’s hope I don’t throw too erratically and take off someone ear or third eye!

As for the weekend…..it was FANTASTIC!  Kels did awesome and I was oh so proud!  The weather cooperated fully and it was a nice turn out for the gig.  And that wedding that we tended bar for was a lot of fun too.  We only had to cut off three people so that wasn’t so bad.  The house was amazing.  Oh, there ended up not being a wedding however.  Small detail I neglected to mention eh!  Turns out the happy couple got married a month ago and kept it all hush hush until the reception this weekend.

I MIGHT have some pictures to post, but my camera was acting goofy and I haven’t had a chance to load them up yet and take a good lookie-loo.  I didn’t get a chance to take pictures of this ‘house’ until after 11:30 pm when we stopped serving, which meant needing a flash.  If any of you are familiar with spirit orbs…..well, there was a whack load of them and thats pretty much all you see in the pictures.

I will see what I can do, especially for you Yankeechick and Cosmic who are so anxious to see pictures! (Besides, you asked just ever so nicely, ya know)   And yeah yeah…..I’ll make sure to get a pic of the new “do” once all these damn locks are cut off!



  1. have you tryed those lil owl statues? they work great on roosting birds and pigedons, they just might work on bats! if not, you will have to call batman! i too wanna see before and after pics of the great haircut of 2008! woot! psst. its been 20 hours no smokie for me!! yeee!

  2. I have NO suggestions on getting rid of bats. I’ve only heard them to be a benefit, but I can see how bat poo is quite a problem for you. I think you might be able to sell it as fertilizer, though!!

    You so don’t look like a dyke! I don’t think you look like a dyke even if you had short hair. I did see one lady today who definitely fit that description, but it wasn’t just because she had short hair. It was also her clothing, her shoes, and her manner of walking. Not that I was judging her; I’m just sayin’. I think you have to look at the “whole” and not just the hair.

  3. Yeah, I’m sure she didn’t like hearing me say “Have a good afternoon” but I said it anyway!!

  4. Hmmm. “I knew an old woman who swallowed a fly – She swallowed a fly, I don’t know why. Perhaps she’ll die.”

    Nope, nothing about bats. But if you have flies, call me 😉

  5. You are gay? I thought you were just happy. As for the bats, I have two suggestions. One, little bags of mothballs. If that doesn’t work, is there some way you can tack sreen about two to three feet down the open part? Have you ever smelled moth balls? What did you do, spread their widdle legs? I am so bad tonight.

  6. two words: tennis racquet.

    Just kill them. They’re bats. They’d kill you if they had the chance. Suck your bud. Make a nest out of the hair you still have.

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