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Memories of a….

September 9, 2008

***I’M ADDING THIS TO THE TOP OF ALL MY POSTS FOR THE NEXT WEEK.  BE PART OF THE FIRST ANNUAL “I LOOK MOST LIKE MY PET” CONTEST AT SHIPPIE’S PLAYGROUND!!  EMAIL A PIC OF YOU AND YOUR PET, AND NEXT WEEK I WILL POST THEM ON MY SITE AND EVERYONE WILL BE ABLE TO VOTE!!  NOT SURE WHAT PRIZE I’LL BE GIVING BUT I’LL THINK OF SOMETHING!!  DON’T HAVE A PET, BUT HAVE A FAMILY MEMBER OR FRIEND THAT DOES AND YOU THINK THEY LOOK LIKE THEIR PET?  SEND IT TO ME! ****

So I’ve got 4 entries, and two more that have been promised.  If Hiss stops teasing me I’ll have one of her hubby and who knows which animal.  There are lots of critters at Chez Hiss!

COUNTDOWN TO GET YOUR ENTRIES IN FOR THE PET LOOK-ALIKE CONTEST: 3 Days!!  I will post the actual voting/pictures on FRIDAY!!  So you’s best be quickielickielike and get me those photos!

I was walking one of the poochies today and was reminded of an experience I had when I was a wee little girl.  Still innocent.  Still impressionable.  VERY shy.  I still kicked the crap out of anyone who tried to beat on my older brother.

Most all of you know that our favorite pirate poolagirl just so happens to be my aunt.  Yes, yes, I am quite a lucky gal.  This story involves her.  It will not embarrass her I promise.  If anything it is a story that shows just how much I looked up to her as a little kid, and proves that I truly thought of her as the bestest and my most favourite aunt.  I idolized her then, and continued to think of her as a mentor in many ways over the days of my life, if even at times from a far and seemingly distant manner.

Comments like that are always backed by actions, right?  Well my actions one cold and blustery December day in Minnesota proves it!  After reading this, if you don’t think I’d do ANYTHING for dear ol’ Poolie, than you need to re-read it!!

I was around 5 years old I think.  Poolie was living with us, which was so very cool!  On the night of a Christmas get together with all the family loveables, weirdos, and asses, she had decided to eventually go to bed.  Now I know that she was sleeping in the downstairs family room and, on this particular night, I was sleeping on the couch in the family room.  I can’t recall if I had to give up my bed for one of the other guests, or if I just found another excuse to sleep in the same room as my hero.  All I can say is I was there.

I was awoken from a dead sleep to the most awful noise coming from the other side of the room where Poolie was.  Apparently she had gotten some nasty food poisoning or something, and was shall we say, horking it up big time!  As a kid I was “the puker” but the sounds coming from her were not close to anything I ever recalled coming from me while blowing cookies in church or the back seat of the car.  I remember it scaring me, but eventually Poolie was able to tell me she was ok.

Ok, so what does one do when they have to puke and can’t stay away from the bathroom but oh so desperately need to lay down??  You bring a trash can with a bag in it just in case, right?  Well, being the wise woman that Poolie is and was, she did just that.  Or perhaps she couldn’t make it to the bathroom and saw the trash can and erupted in that instead, I don’t know.  I’ll stick with the preventative measure as the real story so as to maintain my hero complex of her!  🙂

After one utilizes a small white trash bag like that, the only thing you can do is take it out to the trash.  Get it out of the house!  We had a back door off the family room, and being she was so bloody exhausted I think she just threw it out into the snowbank for the night, but I’m not sure.  Eventually she did bring upstairs and out the side door to where the trash cans were off the driveway.  She eventually felt better but was sick as a dog for awhile I recall.  And I THINK this is when she decided to swear off meat.  Or she had already become a vegetarian, and ate something that she didn’t know had meat in it and that’s what got her sick.  Ok, so I can’t recall ALL of the details!

Anyhoo.  This is where my love for the poolie starts to show.  No I am not going to talk to you about all the ways I helped her while she was sick.  Truthfully, I don’t think I was all that good.  I think I was afraid of her at that moment.  Seeing people sick like that was something I don’t recall being too used to seeing.  But I DID defend her.  I defended her and her ailment like I am sure no one has defended anyone before!

The next day Big Brother and I were out on the driveway.  I remember it being bloody ass cold.  Minnesota winters can make your breath freeze midair into a sheet of ice, and crash down on ground around your snowmobile boots!  However, if you live there you get used to it and could care less.  Especially as a kid.  What do you mean I’m going to get frostbite on my nose and ears??  There isn’t anything around here biting me!

BBro and I were playing hockey in the driveway, and the nasty boys decided to come pay a visit.  There were a few bullies in our neighborhood, and BBro got picked on.  A lot.  Cold, freezing weather doesn’t stop the bullies from doing their thing.

There were about 3 of them, and they were doing crap like taking my brothers hockey stick away, throwing the puck at him, pushing and shoving him, taunting him and whatever else their pea brains could construe was fun at his expense.  Then, they thought it would be funny to throw snowballs at him, and whatever else they could find.  They started grabbing stuff from where the trash cans were.  And then….they went too far!

They actually picked up the white plastic puke bag that was full, but mind you frozen solid, and threw it at Big Bro!  I SCREAMED at them!!  “Don’t do that!  That’s my aunts puke!”  They were grossed out at first, but then started tossing it back and forth along the frozen driveway and playing keep away with the damn thing!  All because….I had claimed ownership over that puke bag.  I was SCREAMING at them that they can’t do that!  That is MY AUNTS PUKE YOU JERKS!! They didn’t stop.

I went over to the two biggest buttwads, told them they better knock it off.  They said…”Or what?”

Oh oh.

I turned into fire and pushed him back up against the trash cans, and punched him in the gut.  Then I turned around and punched the other one in the face.  Ha!  They finally went running down the driveway and left.

I grabbed that ripped apart puke bag and put it back in the trash.

Do not mess with me.

Do NOT mess with someone I care about.

And do not EVER, and I mean EVER, mess with my aunts vomit!!!!

So there.  I am the defender of the families priceless gut offerings.  There is so much stress with that responsibility.

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8 comments

  1. Don’t worry, I promise to never mess with your aunt’s vomit!


  2. I swear, if your Aunt horks up here at Casa-Rosie during the Javelina hunt, I will make you come down here and take care of it!

    And I am trying to find a picture for the contest, but I really don’t look like any of my pets! But my cat Yazmine, she looks like Mia Farrow! True story!


  3. I am utterly speechless…….maybe because it’s too early in the day…..or mayhaps it’s because you just made my 1st cup of coffee taste REALLY narly. ahem


  4. *stands up and applauds wildly* Poolie could never have had a more fervent admirer.


  5. And you, sweet niece, are the best vomit defender a person could have! Huzzah!


  6. i just can’t help but laugh at that… how funny! well, i’m glad that you and Poolie are so close. my “fave” aunt passed away 10yrs ago unfortunately. she was my only biological aunt, too. 😦


  7. Hmmmmmm…that’s good readin’!


  8. I misread the comments by sillycakes and thought she said Poolie couldn’t have a more “ferment” admirer. Hmmm… The twisted things the mind can perceive when choking on liquid as a result of reading one of your family stories…



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