Sarah Palin is not my momma!

September 17, 2008

And thank god for that!  She has named her children some unusual names, Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow, and Piper. If she was my momma, my name would have been:

“Shove Maggot Palin”

I stole this link from bindytree that generates what your Sarah Palin name would be.  Click HERE if you want to try it.

Shove Maggot Palin???  Ummmmm…..seems funny to me as there is a few interpretations there.  As a child sitting in gradeschool I would be taunted by kids pushing and hitting me, as y name clearly gives the order to shove me.  I’d be called Maggot in Jr. High and have to sit by myself in the lunch room.  How awful.  I’d never get a date probably, but if I did can you imagine hearing “Oh SHOVE!  Oh!  Oh!  Oh SHOVE!  YEAh.  Yeah Shove right there”  I mean, wtf??

Anyway, I digress.  It’s a funny little generator, but out of all of those name generators out there, this one gave me the most truly awful name.  I closed the browser with my head hanging down in shame.

And for the record, I have to say that I kinda like the name Piper…it’s cute!  But lordy, what was she thinking with Willow and Track?  And Bristol?  Thank goodness her last name isn’t Myers.  And if one of the most important decisions one makes is to name their child and this is what she comes up with…..do we really want her making decisions on our countries welfare??  Yikes!  I give her creativity though.  She’s got that going for her in spades.

Kind of a quiet night at our dart league last night.  Our team won again so we are currently undefeated.  I had a few decent rounds but for the most part I sucked.  I’m still not used to these steel-tipped darts!  And, given that I’m really used to playing Cricket, I’m not excelling as quickly as I’d like in 701.  In time grasshopper, yes, I know.  It’s just I was a damn good cricket player, and so this is a little hard for me.  Too, throwing steel-tips into cork board is a different ball of wax compared to throwing nylon tips into a plastic board with pre-made holes.  You’d THINK things would be easier on me eh!

The nice thing is that I’m grooving on learning the scoring.  Nylon tip darts usually are synonymous with an electronic dartboard that tallies your scores for you as you go along, so you can get lazy.  It’s rather fun for some reason doing the ‘ol chalk on the chalkboard scoring.

Our team has side contests going on throughout the season.  You have to pay little fines when you do ‘bad throws’ and then that money gets used at the end of the season to either have a party, or pay entry fees for the following season.  Too, at the end of the season the person who threw the most ‘tons’ or had the most ‘take outs’ gets a piece of the kitty too.  Kinda nice.  Too, we each throw $2 into the kitty every night we play, and if you miss a night you still have to pay the 2$.  Considering entry fees for the teams in this dart league are like $350 bucks for the year…this is a great way to pay for it!

Last night?  I got fined $3.50 or something like that.  Argh!  I’m going to have to work on that, as I do not want to get the prize for paying the most into the kitty at the end of the season!  It’s all in fun though, and it seems to be a nice group of women in the league, so it should be a fun way to spend Tuesday nights for the next few months.  I think we actually play thru February, and have the championships in March.

I’m going to do a fun league on Sunday’s as well.  Mainly doing this to get out and practice for Tuesday nights.  Great thing with this one is there’s a $1000 winner at the end of the season, and it’s NOT based on skill.  It’s a random name draw out of the hat.  Count me in!  Our captain on our Tuesday night “Screamer’s” team (yes yes, that is our team name.  we are the Screamer’s! lol)  assures me that on Sundays she will make damn sure that my football games are on the big screens when we’re there.  Damn well better be or I won’t come!  She also promised if Minnesota plays, it WILL be on the screens.  Cap’n Screamer has some pull from the sounds of things.  If she can come through on that promise, I will so be there every Sunday.  Give me my darts, a pint of beer, and some peanuts and popcorn and I’m set.  Oh yeah.  Darts too.

Ugh.  I’ms starting to bore myself so I best stop typing.



  1. I just announced it on my Twitter page, but I’ll tell you too, because my name is just…wow. Recoil Mush Palin, at your service.

    I guess if the rifle’s big enough, firing it could conceivably turn something on your body to mush, but OW!

  2. Oh my. Apparently I would be “Shaver Razorback Palin.” I guess Shove and Shaver would be sharing the same table in middle school! 😉

    Ya know, a darts league sounds like fun! Good luck this season.

  3. As I’ve pointed out elsewhere, naming a girl-child Bristol is just about one of the ickiest things I can think of. I know it’s supposedly after the bay — but where I come from, it’s Cockney rhyming slang for “tits” — Bristol City — titty — Bristols — breasts. I’m thinking that, along the lines of the old “Two Dogs Fucking” joke, they named her after the first thing her daddy saw when she was born. (Lucky they didn’t go for “Shaved Minge”, I suppose. But they might be saving that for the next baby — who could sit right between Shove and Shaver.) Love, R xxx

  4. Ok, mine would be Hook Tuneup Palin. WTF?!?!?! Anyway, thanks for sharing!

  5. As I posted on Poolie’s page, I’m apparently Hose Hotrod Palin. I suppose that’s appropriate since we’re all hosed if the McCain-Palin ticket takes the election.

  6. I was Ladel Torque Palin. That’s the first time that I’ve actually LIKED my REAL name (Laurel) over another name.

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