The good and bad

November 6, 2008

Dear Father, forgive me as it’s been ages since my last entry.  Give me the Hail Mary’s to do and I’ll get right on it.

Of course I must first say I am PUMPED about the results of the election!!!  Despite having kick ass pain due to a raging mouth infection from a broken molar that went untreated for too long and had an ice pack glued to my face, I was equally glued to the tv set Tuesday night.  Kel and I both were excited and hopeful, and when 11 o’clock came and those words spanned across the screen that Barrack Obama was being declared the President Elect….I had a new set of tears to add to the ones already streaming down my cheeks.

It really is amazing.  I was moved by so much that I watched that night, as most of you have already talked about in your blogs.  McCain’s concession speech and the fact that he FINALLY told the ‘booer’s’ to knock it off was nice to see.  All the cities that televised parties and gatherings in the streets was amazing.  Feeds from all over the world showing how everyone was glued to this election and excited with the results was incredible!!

I believe there is a pathway laid now where our hopes will become reality.  It’s not going to happen over night, and I only hope people realize that and don’t start criticizing our new president too early.   There is a serious mess he has been given to clean up.  It will be years before things are right again in the States, but at least now I feel like we have a chance at getting back there.

Equally saddened am I by the results of Proposition 8 and this crap about mandating adoptions of children to only married couples.

Proposition 8 screams to me again that things are moving backwards.  What happens to those who got married recently in California?  I can’t tell you how this saddens me.  I am lucky to be married to a wonderful woman in a country that recognizes us and has no issue with it.  I’m lucky in that there is no talk whatsoever to have that stripped away from me.

It is so hard when you fight for something…..you get it…..and then later get it stripped away from you and told ‘HA!  Sorry!  No more!”

I get that people aren’t totally ready for gay marriages.  I get that most people do not have a CLUE as to the difference between a ‘marriage’ and a ‘civil union’ and don’t understand why that isn’t a consolation prize worthy of jumping up and own about in excitement.  I get that we have a ways to go in this area, but I do not understand how you can give that right and then take it away only a few short months later.  That just seems even more wrong.

And what REALLY pisses me off???  These new bills that were passed in a lot of the states that state ‘Single people cannot adopt children.’  Excuse me???vd

Don’t try to tell me this has ANYTHING to do with ensuring a financially stable place for a child to grwo up in, cuz this is so not the case and just another smoke screen.  People wanting to adopt have to go threw piles and mountains of paperwork, part of which is proving they financially can support a child.  If a SINGLE person can show the financial soundness, which they would have to anyway, they should not be denied the gift of having a child and caring for them and loving them.

No.  This is yet another attempt to keep Gays and Lesbians from adopting kids without directly saying so.  Obviously if Kelly and I were living in the states and wanted to adopt a child, we would of course be unable to do so since our marriage is not something that is recognized in the states.   Because off that, I guess people think I would be an unfit parent.  Kelly would be an unfit parent.  Gee, we may want to adopt a kid so that we can force that child to be gay or do some other crazy and crude acts that people seem to think we do.  It makes me so damn mad.  It sickens me.  It sickens me that so many people out there are sickened by people like me.  They are disgusted by people like me and so afraid of people like me that now they are doing what they can to prevent people like me from adopting one of the many needed children out there that need a loving home.

It’s bad enough that so many people are sickened by people like me.  It’s bad enough that marriage rights were given, and are now being taken away.  It’s worse that now we are being cast into a group that is considered not good enough to adopt and raise kids.

This is a step backwards, and it truly saddens me.  I am encouraged by what happened Tuesday night and the impact it has on so many different groups.  I can only hope that going forward people will learn to not be afraid of people like me, but in the mean time, this whole situation sucks and really breaks my heart.  As Martin Luther King had said of his dreams of a day when a man is not judged by the colour of his skin but rather the content of his character, I dream of a day when I will not be judged simply by the person I love.

What Kelly and I have is beautiful.  I did not “Choose” to be a lesbian.  Rather, I simply ‘Chose’ to be who I really am and stop pretending to be straight and what everyone else considered to be normal.  The love I have for Kelly is a gift, and there is nothing wrong, sick, twisted, disgusting or evil about it.

Normally, I am pretty damn “tolerant” (to quote the love S.Palin) of people that judge me and think there is something wrong with me. I’ve not been one to jump on the gay rights bandwagon.  Normally I don’t let this crap ruffle my feathers.  Even after I was attacked by 14 people in a gay bashing that left me in the hospital for a few days and somewhat screwed up for a few months because of the fear I had to even leave my house, I STILL forgave those idiots that did that to me and felt bad for their ignorance.

Right now?  I’m pissed.  I’m pissed, and honestly I am hurt.  I’m taking this one personally.  It’s bringing up pain experienced from that attack, memories of times I have been spit at, made fun of, black listed from my family by my step mother, friends that are no longer after learning that I’m gay, and that’s just naming a few.  I’m downright pissed off, hurt and disgusted by it all.  Now I am being told that I am not even fit to raise a child.

SCREW YOU!  Sorry, but screw my tolerances in the past, and screw any of you people that are so freaking ignorant and small minded that you think you are somehow better than me.  Screw you for thinking you are somehow better than me to raise a child.  Screw you for not realizing that there are SO many people out there screwing up kids’ lives….and I dare you to say that all the screwed up kids are coming from homes of gays and lesbian parents.  Screw every last one of you that is so freaking ignorant as to be afraid of someone like me and screw you for judging me because of who I love.

I’m pissed.  I’m saddened.  We’ve taken a step forward, but we’ve taken a step backwards too.  I just want to fucking scream.



  1. 1st off the bat, you must say 4 hail marys and 3 our fathers and your sins of not posting for a long time are therefore forgiven!!!
    next, i agree with you wholeheartily, but please dont be saddened and pissed because of america’s ignorance, americans are idiots ya know, just be proud that you can live in a country that lets you be you for real and not one that makes believe that they will let you be you. you and kel are good people, and dont let the ignorance drag ya down!!

  2. Well, I’d spank you for your long absence, but someone might get too excited!

    Aaannnnyywaaay…yeah, the fact that California didn’t uphold the rights of gay people to be married is sickening to me. Add the fearful little people here in Arizona and other places who likewise put a cap on gay marriage, and I am saddened by their fear.

    But remember, as time goes on, and the fearful ones die off and are replaced by a newer, more tolerant generation, things WILL change! After all, a mixed-race President was unthinkable 40 years ago. Gay marriage wasn’t even HINTED at 30 years ago…and gay bashing was condoned by police in many communities.

    Hell, for that matter, interracial marriages were illegal in 16 states when the Supreme Court declared those laws unconstitutional in 1967! That’s only 41 years ago, and it’s a time period I remember well!

    We have come a long way, baby, and even though there is still a ways to go, at least there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, regardless of the latest setbacks. So be hopeful, you are still young and will live to see the world change for the better!

  3. Wait, what? You’re GAY?!? Ha. Sorry.

    Anyhow, I do not understand why people are so concerned about gays. I don’t get why gays can’t get married, or adopt children, or simply live their lives like the rest of us. I would much rather see a child go to a gay family than to languish in our shitty foster care system. I would rather see a child go to a gay family than to a single parent! Not that there is anything wrong with being a single parent, but it gets VERY stressful, and when you have someone to share the responsibilities with, it’s a bit easier raising a child.

    I hope one day we Americans can be as civilized as our friends to the North and realize that it doesn’t matter what gender a person loves. Maybe one day a person will be able formalize that love with a person of his or her choosing, regardless of gender. I’ll be working toward that goal with my vote each election season!

  4. I voted against Prop 8, and I totally agree with you. The US is supposed to be the land of the free, with equal rights for all, and this is just one area that is lacking, and lacking big time. I believe it is unconstitutional, and hopefully some day everyone will see that. Imagine.. living life in peace!

  5. **hugs**

  6. I too was sad to see that passing of prop 8. I’ve always thought that those who despise gays are a bit retarded. In my lifetime I’ve known and loved many, beginning with my best friend in 4th grade. And I have been gifted in turn by their love. I have laughed in the face of people who tell me they’re not anti-gay, they just want to “preserve the institute of marriage.” Gag me. 50% of marriages end in divorce among hetero couples. I’d love to know what the statistics are for gay couples. All we’re required to do is to be the best us we can be. Someday I hope everyone will realize that.

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